Revelation of a Cynic

The opportunity afforded to its citizens by America is not some transcendent dream of freedom. Rather it is control. It is the wealth of time and resources to devote to control. It is the hundred and some years of wealth and time that have already gone to this end.

I have come to realize that no matter who we are, where we are, or what we are doing, our stories are all basically the same pathetic form. We spend our time awake each day moving between filling and fighting desires. We live from meal to meal, dreaming only of what we will next consume. Our relationships are based on satisfaction. Our lives are spent working for more new and better things. Our lives are dictated by pain and avoiding pain. And when you step back and realize the meaninglessness of all of it, the horrible cycle that is our existence, it drives you crazy.

And that’s why control is so appealing. We have been given what we need to ignore the pain. When we are satisfied we can forget that our existence is dictated by the void of what we lack. And in America we have the means to find something new to satisfy when the old fails. As long as we are distracted we can pretend that we are free. We can pretend that we are happy when in reality we’re merely content.

Somewhere inside of us there is a conflict between some transcendent existence and an animal life. And the animal is winning. By ignoring the pain we are losing touch with what it is to be human. Ironically enough it is when the animal within us takes over that we lose appreciation for nature. Because only a transcendent being can appreciate nature – to the animal it represents chaos, a lack of control. Nature threatens to interrupt our satisfaction. Nature threatens to take away the structure and control that we need to forget that our lives are pitiful and meaningless. In our own contrived world we are what is most important. In comparison to nature we find that we are small and insignificant. Something has gone horribly wrong as now we are annoyed by the sounds of nature and soothed by the sounds of machines. We have become a people of comfort and ease. We have become a people of paved roads and empty parking lots.

The American dream may have something to do with freedom and life, but the American reality is a world of transient comfort. It is a world with no roots, moving from place to place, relationship to relationship, never being able to settle on anything for long for fear disturbing the fragile ball of glass, of upsetting the delicate balance that keeps its passenger in stoic comfort while he waits for his turn to die. Few and lucky are those jarred from this catatonic slumber by events still too strong or unpredictable for the American machine to control.

The greatest irony yet is that we are only truly happy when we stop running from our pain and are present with it. We stop fighting the pain, stop filling the void with excuses and shallow relationships and events. Then we have time to think, and feel. And then we know what it really means to be human. The transcendent life is born out of pain. The animal life is consumed with avoiding it. If we could stop being in a hurry all the time maybe we could enjoy the journey instead of rushing through it as fast as we can, annoyed at the lack of technology to bring us instantly to our destination. Maybe if we weren’t so concerned about being comfortable we could learn to appreciate nature. By allowing nature to exist and not dominating it we can finally elevate ourselves above it.

But what then? When we have let go of our control and allowed the pain of existence to reach us and we realize that life as we know it is hollow, where do we go from there? How can we go on living when our eyes have been opened to the nothing that is the world around us? What life is there to live when we are aware that the life we have to live is a pathetic mold? What alternative do we have?

That is where true religion comes in – religion that gives meaning to life rather than covering pain. In a transcendent life there is no fear of a higher being, of God, because we no longer crave control over our lives. We have learned to let go of control, and therefore God is no longer an affront to our mode of existence. And with God introduced, the transcendent life becomes one that is livable. Without God the transcendent life is one of hopeless despair, and in such a situation blissful ignorance is far preferred. With God, however, the transcendent life becomes one of joy and fulfillment because God gives us what we can never have on our own – true love.

I propose that one can never really know love while living the animal life. In this life all we seek is satisfaction and comfort. Love, by contrast, seeks to provide happiness for others, even if it brings pain. The best an animal can hope for is to find satisfaction in knowing that they helped someone else, they can never truly be selfless. They are always working to provide satisfaction and comfort for themselves, even if the actions look the same as love. That is to say that no matter what actions an animal takes the basic reason he takes them is because he feels better after taking them than before. In the transcendent life the concept of joy is introduced. Joy is something that the animal cannot know, because in joy man is brought to a state of well-being that is totally disconnected from his level of pain. That is to say that his actions may only increase his pain but he still gets joy from them, and therefore is better off because of them. And when there can be joy then there can be true love, because now man can be made better without concern to his own pain, but instead with concern about others.

I propose also that even if one is to attain the transcendent life without God then he will not know love. You’re welcome to try if you think you can, but I do not believe that such an action can lead to anything but despair. In time such a transcendent man will again look to his own comfort and return to the world of the animal where he can find distractions that will cover his pain. This is because I believe that joy is something foreign to the human existence and can only come from God. Of course there is no way to prove this scientifically, so I challenge the doubtful to try, personal experience seems to be the only real proof of such a theory.

Finally I propose that few if any human beings can ever become fully transcendent. Even with joy and love we are of our basic nature too selfish to completely give up caring about our own pain. And therefore we are incapable of giving up our selfish task of living for numb comfort. However, I believe that the more transcendent we become the more fulfilling our lives will be. Additionally, God holds out the hope of a life after this in which we will be fully transcendent. I believe that is the true heaven we hope for. The animals mistakenly believe it to merely be a world without pain. I conjecture that more than a world without pain it is a world where we can completely give up looking to our own needs and fully give ourselves to one another. In that way we will find true and complete fulfillment. I can say this with some certainty because this is the example that God has given. Reasonably we assume that God is fully transcendent. His actions show that He lives not to avoid pain, but rather willingly subjects Himself to it for the sake of others, namely the human race. Therefore it is reasonable to believe that when we are like God it will mean that we are fully willing to give ourselves for others, whether or not there is pain. For those who doubt that such a world is the most satisfying I leave this final argument: to be like God is to be perfect and want for nothing. God is fully transcendent. God sacrifices His own comfort for that of others and gives no care to His own pain. Therefore to be perfect and fully transcendent is to give up your own comfort for others and give no care to your own pain. To work to that end is to be a disciple of Jesus and to become more like God. I find it completely reasonable to believe that such an endeavor can only lead to a better life that is more fulfilling. I cannot see how anything else is reasonable.